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How Do You Know If Your are Giving In To Fear? AND How To Release It!

26168338_sIf you are anything like me, you have a busy mind. Thoughts flying around like a 1960’s version of the future sky traffic….complete with the beeps, whirs, and whistles! So throughout this busy mindscape of mine, I have to be vigilant about what are fear (ego) based thoughts and what is my intuition (or higher self). So how do I know for sure which messages are getting through?

The easiest answer of all…truly. Does it feel like love?

I know that sounds simplistic, and really it is on the base level. Intuitive thoughts are born of love, ego thoughts are born of fear.  Most of the time I can pretty easily tell the difference. Now just a quick note, there are actual fear thoughts we DO want to pay attention to, like don’t run into traffic, or hit the brakes, etc.  The rest is just ego chatter and we have to learn how to differentiate and dismiss what isn’t serving us.

Intuitive thoughts guide us through our lives, even emotions that come up hard and fast can be for our highest and greatest good.  Emotions are our natural guidance systems and we learn throughout our lives how to navigate these emotions. So learning what is born of love and what is born of fear can be a bit tricky at times.

Let’s take a look at anger for example, you may have a hot flash of anger after backing into a tree while texting as you pull out of your driveway.  The first thing to do is acknowledge that yeah, that really sucks. Then you have a choice whether to carry that anger all day (or week), and call your best friend and tell her what happened. Complain at work how it screwed up your car. Feel embarrassed as you park it in the lot. Yell at the tree. Beat yourself up for being so careless. Yell at the neighbors who planted the damn tree in the first place. You get it…

You can let your ego take that anger downhill like an avalanche. OR, you can thank it and let it go. Afterall, there may have been some real divine intervention here. There is always a lesson or gift. You’ll think twice before texting while driving now, right? You could have had a more serious accident had that pattern of behavior continued.

Some emotions may feel larger and more dramatic than others, especially around relationships, jobs, and money. Maybe you get blindsided by a fearful emotion and really can’t tell if it is born of love. What then?  I choose to sit with it. Do this in whatever way works for you. Meditate, journal, let it roll around in your mindscape for a few days, go for a walk. I use all of those for the bigger questions. You will eventually come to a place of knowing what the emotion is telling you and if it is just fear or something bigger.

You may also realize that you’ve had the same silly fears on repeat for the last 5 years of your life…who knew?! Until we acknowledge these for what they are, they will plague us. Lack is a big one in this category. I’ve gotten WAY better about this, but in the past, I would have to have a bag of coffee in reserve…so silly, but I was afraid to run out! You get what I’m saying, the silly fears that we carry around have some message for us and we have to acknowledge them to let them go.

Here is my formula for releasing fear:
I sit in meditation and after I’ve calmed my mind and come to center.

  1. I ask my fear to show up fully
  2. I feel it and acknowledge it in my body, and emotionally. I may cry at this point. The purpose is to let it come up fully so you can release it.
  3. Next, I ask if it has a message for me. It’s not always what I want to hear either. It may be something incredibly hurtful that I’ve been trying to avoid feeling. I still listen no matter how difficult it seems or how much it may hurt. Especially heartache or guilt you may have been carrying unknowingly.
  4. Then I forgive. This is where the magic happens! I forgive myself for avoiding it, and I forgive myself for not seeing the gift in it. I forgive anyone else I feel may have a role in it. I forgive the tree 😉
  5. Then I ask what I can learn from it. This is the part where you really have to listen. These are the lessons, the gifts. If we ignore these, we will have them coming up again and again. What may have felt like an external issue (like a fight with a friend), is truly an inside job. You may not get that until you ask.
  6. Last, I release it. I ask that the fear be transmuted into love. I ask that anyone involved be blessed with love.
  7. After meditation, ground it. Either journal, draw, take a walk, go to the gym. Let what you’ve just discovered sink in. Give it the honor it deserves. This will also help you to retain the lesson.

You may have to do this a few times. You may be unwilling to see or know the truth. Let’s be honest, sometimes life’s lessons aren’t fun. This will at least make them make sense and create ease around moving on from the fear.

Once you’ve released it, it may still come up, but the intensity is gone. Even if it is a tough situation I’m dealing with, I’ve taken the power out of it. I’ve removed the fear at the base level. I may still have fear of learning this new lesson, and that is normal. That is the fear that we boldly step into. That is life at it’s best.

Sometimes our intuition is giving us a gift, and fear is just a clever disguise that our ego has thrown onto it in hopes that we don’t grow.

believe. IN YOU
-TaraBella

 

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