I originally published this on The Huffington Post
I have so many people come to me, and when it comes down to doing the work, they don’t want to put in the effort. It’s just easier to settle…why? The phrase “I hate my life” in google brought up 69,600,000 results. What does that tell you?
How many of those people are ACTIVELY changing their lives? How many of those people are looking for different results, different outcomes, and different ways they are seeking change? 10%? 20%? Maybe even 30%? Most people want change and do nothing other than stay stuck or resigned to what they currently have.
All you have to do is look around you, at your life, what you have is what you want to have. If you truly wanted something different you would have it. How do I know? Because I’ve met you before, I’ve been you before, and in some ways I am still you. You will never accomplish your to-do list, IT will never be done. You will always want more, if you don’t you’ll be dead. The results are always in the action.
You may want to exercise, but that desire alone will not give you results. You have to actually go to the gym or workout in your home, run, walk, do something to get the results you want. So what makes you think some angel or knight in shining armor are going to swoop in and rescue you from the life you have? The life you aren’t even willing to try to change?
It is not going to happen!
Let’s look at a few different areas of life…
Money: You don’t have enough of it, and you want more of it, right? You keep wishing you could win the lottery and be rescued from your current life and situation. Am I warm? I think so. You dutifully buy your tickets every week, you kiss your lucky medallion or turn around three times under the full moon and wish this time will be IT. Not going to happen. You probably hate your job, or at best wish you didn’t have to go…and I getting warmer? You may even kind of like your job, because, hey, it could be worse, right? Yet, you are not actively doing anything to create a better reality. You may think you are entitled to a raise, but you aren’t putting in the effort to get it. You may want to start your own business but you are too tired to actually do anything when you get home from that job you hate. Am I hot yet? Secret: If you want change YOU have to actively create it for yourself in your own life. It is that simple, really.
Love: You want to feel loved, like in the romantic comedies you love to watch. You really deserve love. You desperately want that person that will shower you with flowers, romantic dinners, and whisk you off to an island somewhere and make love to you all night under the stars with champagne on ice. What you have is nowhere near that. You settle for the first guy or girl that smiles at you with that cute little twinkle in their eyes. You may love the way he/she cooks for you, but truthfully you’re just not into them…BUT they do cook well…it could be worse. Maybe you are single and feel like you naturally repel potential partners, they either don’t meet your standards, or you feel constantly rejected. Let me also have a go at how you love yourself. You stand in front of the mirror and criticize your body. Maybe you eat that yummy dessert and then hate yourself for being weak. You walk by the flower stand and dream of the guy who will buy them for you, but you wouldn’t dare shower yourself with flowers. Vacation, no way, you are probably too busy with that job you hate or looking for that guy to whisk you away. You self-criticize all of the mistakes you make. You ask others for advice, you know the ones, that will put you down, you feel small, guilty, and worthless. So how do you expect the right person to come along and love you when you haven’t bothered to even try to love yourself? Secret: Treat yourself how you want to be treated and you will have people coming out of everywhere. You don’t have to leave your current relationship either, you change, they will change. If you treat yourself like the goddess you are, so will they.
BODY: I touched on this a bit above, but let’s go deeper. You feel too heavy? No energy, you want to feel and look better but why bother, right? Maybe you really try after New Years, or maybe you are going to whip yourself into shape before the summer beach season. You ARE going to do it this time, right? Right after you have one more binge day, or maybe right after you get through this really tough project at work, because you are exhausted and need the extra sleep right now. Maybe you even went to the gym 3 times in a row last month, but then you were sore and needed to recover, I mean, you do still have your membership, right? Secret: You will not get the outcome you desire if you don’t make the effort. If you want muscle tone you have to do the work. If you want to lose fat, you have to stop binge eating pizza, fries and ice cream every day.
So if you truly want to change your life you have to start. It’s that simple. Just frickin start. Do 1 thing every single day. You don’t have to quit your job, leave your relationship, and move into the gym. You just have to choose to DO 1 thing every single day. When you start seeing how that 1 thing impacts your life, you will WANT to add in another and another and you WILL see change. Change doesn’t even have to take years, months, or weeks, it can take days. You can learn to change your energy, your mood, and your outlook in minutes. I know because I can.
I am still adding in something everyday to create change in my life, and I will continue to do so for the rest of my living breathing life. Because I want to, and I want everything I desire. Best of all I know I can have it. I’m not waiting for someone to rescue me. I’m creating the life I want. I’m doing the work and I’m seeing results, and yes sometime it is difficult. It is as easy as I choose it to be though. If I make something difficult, it is. If I choose for it to be easy, it is.
So what are you going to do?
Here is a list of suggestions of things you can do NOW to start changing your life:
- Laugh everyday on purpose
- Spend 3 minutes a day intentionally smiling
- Walk twice as far as you normally do, even if it’s to the mailbox, just go a little farther
- Do 10 jumping jack, pushups, or squats…just 10 a day
- Buy yourself flowers, and when they die, buy more
- Treat yourself to something healthy that also tastes great
- Drink 2 more glasses of water than you normally do
- Smile at a stranger
- Buy someone coffee (even pay for the person behind you at the drive thru)
- Write yourself a letter as the you that is actually living your DREAM life
- Pretend you have $10 million and write a list of how you will spend it
- Hide $1 bill at the grocery store for someone to find
- Run for 1 block instead of walking
- Close your eyes and just breathe deeply for 3 minutes
- Look in the mirror and say “You are beautiful, I love you”
- Every time you criticize yourself, even in your head, say “I’m sorry, I forgive you, I love you”
- Forgive someone else…just forgive them, not even in person, just in your heart
- Scream “I’ve alive and I love my life” in your car…even if you don’t currently believe it
- Make a list of what you’d do if you could do anything you wanted
- Read something inspiring, even a quote
Do even 1 of these things everyday and you will see change in your life, in your energy, in your mood.
BELIEVE. In You
TaraBella is a Life Coach, writer, expressive arts therapist and mentor. Since 2007 she has been on a mission to be a shining light and inspiration daily. With a focus on self-love and authenticity, her passion is to help women discover their own inner passion and live truly empowered and authentic lives!