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Are You Giving Yourself Permission?

PERMISSIONOk, let’s talk permission. Think back to a time, perhaps your teen years, when you HAD to have something. You may have “asked”, but really you meant “I’m getting THIS no matter what you say”. Maybe you can think of several examples of this. That feeling that was absolute. It was REQUIRED for you to HAVE that thing, that experience, whatever IT was. So now I ask you, as an adult, do you still have these moments? You most likely will say yes. I am willing to make a wager that what you mean is kind of, sort of, maybe.

The difference is permission. Are you really giving yourself permission to live the life you WANT to live? If you are living the life of your dreams on your terms with no trace of mediocrity…well done then! My guess is you could be writing this article 🙂  Back to the rest of us… and yes, I am including myself in this because I don’t always give myself permission. I fool myself into thinking I do but truly I don’t. I may make a green drink or coffee, or even journaling a non-negotiable part of my day. But does that constitute living my life on my absolute terms? NOPE! Big FAT NOT EVEN! I’m pushing up against my own ideas of how I “should” be living.  

What I do and what most of us ladies do, is put others ahead of ourselves and we do in a way that is completely with the guise of justifying not giving ourselves permission to really LIVE out our own lives. I can’t count the number of days that I have “off” and what I really want to do is go to the beach and read, or go to a coffee shop and write. What do I choose to do? Clean the house, clean the car, do a huge list of “have to do’s” and then it’s dark, and I’m pissed because I’ve left myself no time to do what I really wanted to do. Sometime I even blame others… you know, if they cleaned more, I’d have more time.

Let’s consider something else. How do you show up every day? What do you post on facebook? How often do you compare yourself or what you’re doing to someone else? How often do you allow yourself to fall into the trap of “they are better than me”, or “I’ll never be as successful as ______”. Do you just keep asking “how do they do it?”. Seriously. When you really stop to think about it, what do YOU want? What do you give yourself permission to do each and every day? Do you settle for mediocrity again and again. Do you say tomorrow will be different?

I’m writing this right now, because that is exactly what I do. What I have done for far too fucking long in my own life. Right here, right now, I am DONE!  I am not going to waste another day WANTING to be someone I already am if I just give myself permission to BE, DO or HAVE my own life.

Going back to a time when you HAD to have something…did you spend time comparing with others, playing the victim, crying that you’ll never have it? Bet you didn’t, I bet you declared it and got it. Maybe there were some steps, to getting the $150 pair of jeans you could not live without! You would rather die than live without those jeans, right! What about the feeling you had after you got them. How did you feel when you put them on. God, your bum looked amazing, didn’t it? Those jeans were symbolic of what YOU could HAVE in your life. That fire, that confidence, that requirement. THAT is what you need every single day. Stop giving up so easily. Stop telling yourself ridiculous lies about not being good enough. Not being ready. Not being ABLE to right now. Then crying yourself to sleep because you can hardly stand the idea of living another day as you are. Really just STOP!

The flip side of this…joy, happiness, fun. Do you really want to keep living as you are instead of having THESE? Why?

How? Is that your next question? It has been mine for far too long. I have over complicated it with excuses. It is so fucking simple I haven’t even been able to begin to grasp it. I’m not going to spend the next 3 paragraphs beating myself up, because truthfully I just don’t have time. I’ve spent too much on that already. So the how? Just give yourself permission. Don’t wait for your spouse’s permission. Your mom, your dad, your children’s permission. Seriously give that some thought. Have you been waiting? Waiting for some invisible person to give you permission? Is that pair of jeans way back when MORE important than the rest of your days?

Why? I’ll tell you what I told myself. Grow the Fuck Up! I didn’t say that to be mean, to be rude, to be crass. I say it because I have been allowing myself to live this way. This life…I’ve created it, you’ve created it. Don’t spend one second beating yourself up for it. Just put your big girl panties on and get this shit done!


Want to know what’s going on in my head? My ego?

How can you ever pull this off?
You are in such a mess currently, you can’t live the way you want to until other things shift.
You are just kidding yourself.
Just keep doing what you’re doing until you’ve paid off your debt and you can realistically start thinking about your dreams.
Oh, and by the way….who the fuck are you kidding?

Don’t believe you are alone. Don’t believe the crap that your ego is trying to sell you. Living your life on your terms doesn’t have to cost any money. Money WILL be a byproduct though. So if you don’t want money, maybe you don’t live your life your way.  The money WILL follow though. Your beliefs WILL shift. Your life WILL be happier. So if you don’t want any of that…just ignore me.

I wrote the majority of this article today at a coffee shop. Why? Because I wanted to. That IS how I DESIRE to live my life. Coffee and a laptop is perfect for me. Writing is happiness to me. Did I quit everything else in my life to sit at a coffee shop all day? Ummm, no. I got up earlier, I went an hour before showing up at my other “job”. I didn’t have to say Fuck everything….I just decided it was a requirement today, and let me tell you, I wrote this is like 15 minutes. I didn’t even need a whole hour. IF I had chosen to write this in and around my “other” responsibilities…it would have taken over an hour, I would have been doing other stuff at the same time AND I would not have been so authentic. Why? Because I’d be putting “other” stuff first. Do you get how simple this can be?

I just GOT it. I JUST got it. I just got IT. This article is me getting it. I’ve made coaching and writing WAY too difficult for myself. Truth? It doesn’t have to be. I’ve already allocated 2 free days per week for coaching clients. Most weeks when those days come around I’m exhausted and I’m not booking clients…why? Because I can’t show up for my clients if I’m choosing not to show up for myself. Right?

I know I’ve got the tools to help loads of people. I’ve been studying and taking courses for 7 years…like I get it!  I have a ton of life-cred. I’ve applied a ton of what I’ve learned. I’ve created 3 other businesses. They were all great successes too…when I was passionate about them. They began to fail as soon as my passion waned. Not a surprise either. THIS is what I was born to do, THIS is my PASSION, my PURPOSE, and my LOVE! The only reason I’m not currently a huge success is because I haven’t given myself permission to be. I have been too afraid to show up in the world as ME. All my other businesses were about other things…and I could hide behind them. Sure my authenticity was partly in each of them. Always trying to satisfy THIS piece of me that I couldn’t give myself permission to BE. I also absolutely learned from each of them.

I’ve allowed myself to make it about the money, the skills, the difficulty, the competition. None of that matters, and none of that stands in my way. The ONLY thing in my way is me.

SO, I give myself permission to DO this. To BE ME. To have everything I desire.

If you need me to give you permission…I do, but my permission won’t matter to you. Do you get that?

believe. IN YOU
xo TaraBella

If you are feeling stuck in your life, or just KNOW there is something MORE that you are meant to BE, DO, and HAVE…contact me right NOW!  Don’t let another week, month, year go by without taking action on your desires, dreams, LIFE!  You are SO WORTH IT!

Add “I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION” in the message!

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